Dear Readers: Iām away this week, so weāre re-running a popular Q&A from a few years back. This column originally appeared in late June of 2018. Iāll be back next week with a brand-new column. ā Dan
I am a 24-year-old straight guy who recently broke up with my girlfriend of more than four years. One of the reasons we broke up was a general lack of sexual compatibility. She had a particular aversion to oral sexāboth giving and receiving. I didnāt get a blowjob the whole time we were together. Which brings me to why I am writing: One of my closest friends, āSam,ā is a gay guy. Shortly after breaking up with my girlfriend, I was discussing my lack of oral sex with Sam, and he said heād be willing to āhelp me out.ā I agreed, and Sam gave me an earth-shattering blowjob. I was...
Dear Readers: Iām away this week, so weāre re-running a popular Q&A from a few years back. This column originally appeared in late June of 2018. Iāll be back next week with a brand-new column. ā DanĀ
I am a 24-year-old straight guy who recently broke up with my girlfriend of more than four years. One of the reasons we broke up was a general lack of sexual compatibility. She had a particular aversion to oral sexāboth giving and receiving. I didnāt get a blowjob the whole time we were together. Which brings me to why I am writing: One of my closest friends, āSam,ā is a gay guy. Shortly after breaking up with my girlfriend, I was discussing my lack of oral sex with Sam, and he said heād be willing to āhelp me out.ā I agreed, and Sam gave me an earth-shattering blowjob. I was glad to get some and had no hang-ups about a guy sucking me. Since then, Sam has blown me three more times. My problem is I am starting to feel guilty and worry I am using Sam. Heās a very good buddy, and Iām concerned this lopsided sexual arrangement might be bad for our friendship. Sam knows I am not into guys and Iām never going to reciprocate, and I feel like this is probably not really fair to him. But these are literally the only blowjobs Iāve received since I was a teenager. What should I do?
Totally Have Reservations Over Advantage Taking
Only one person knows how Sam feels about this ālopsided sexual arrangement,ā THROAT, and it isnāt me.
Zooming out for a second: People constantly ask me how the person theyāre fucking or fisting or flogging feels about the fucking or fisting or flogging. Guys write to ask why women ghosted them; women write to ask if their boyfriends are secretly gay. And while Iām happy to speculate, Iām not a mind reader. Which means I have no way of knowing for sure why some woman ghosted you or whether your boyfriend is gay. Or in your case, THROAT, I have no way of knowing how Sam feels about the four norecip blowjobs heās given you. Only Sam knows.
And thatās why I wrote you back, THROAT, and asked you for Samās contact information. Since you were clearly too afraid to ask Sam yourself (most likely for fear the blowjobs would stop), I offered to ask Sam on your behalf. I wasnāt seriousāit was my way of saying, āYou should ask Sam.ā But you sent me Samās contact info, and a few minutes later I was chatting with Sam.
āYes, I have been sucking my straight friendās cock,ā Sam said to me. āAnd I am flattered he told you I was good at it. Thatās an ego booster!ā
Sam, like THROAT, is 24 years old. He grew up on the East Coast and met THROAT early in his first year at college. Sam came out at the end of his freshman year, to THROAT and his other friends, and he now lives in a big city where he works in marketing when he isnāt sucking off THROAT.
My first question for Sam: Are you one of those gay guys who gets off on āservicingā straight guys?
āIāve never done anything with a straight guy before this,ā said Sam. āSo, no, Iām not someone who is āinto servicing straight guys.ā I have only ever dated and hooked up with gay guys before!ā
So, why offer to blow THROAT?
āI didnāt know until after he broke up with his girlfriend that he hadnāt gotten a blowjob the whole time they were togetherāfour years!ā Sam said. āWhen I told him Iād be happy to help him out, I was joking. I swear I wasnāt making a pass at my straight friend! But there was this long pause, and then he got serious and said heād be into it. I wondered for a minute if it would be weird for me to blow my friend, and there was definitely a bit of convincing each other that we were serious. When he started taking his clothes off, I thought, āSo this is going to happen.ā It was not awkward after. We even started joking about it right away. I have sucked him off four more times since then.ā
For those of you keeping score at home: Either THROAT lost count of the number of times Sam has blown himāTHROAT said Sam has blown him three more times after that first blowjobāor THROAT got a fifth blowjob in the time that elapsed between sending me his letter and putting me in touch with Sam.
So, does this lopsided sexual arrangementāblowing a straight boy whoās never going to blow him backābother Sam?
āI suppose it is a ālopsided sexual arrangement,'ā said Sam. āBut I donāt mind. I really like sucking dick and Iām really enjoying sucking his dick. He has a really nice dick! And from my perspective, weāre both having fun. And, yes, Iāve jacked off thinking about it after each time I sucked him. I knowānowāthat he thinks it is a bit unfair to me. But I donāt feel that way at all.ā
So, there is something in it for Sam, THROAT. You get the blowjobs, Sam gets the memories. (Memories that he jerks off to later.) And Sam assumes that at some point, memories are all heāll have.
āHe will eventually get into a relationship with a woman again, and our arrangement will end,ā said Sam. āI only hope nothing is weird between us in the future because of what has happened in the past few weeks.ā
I had one last question: Sam is really good at sucking cockāhe gives āearth-shatteringā blowjobs, according to THROATābut is THROAT any good at getting his cock sucked? As experienced cocksuckers know, a person can suck at getting their cock sucked: They can just lay/stand/sit there, giving you no feedback, or be too pushy or not pushy enough, etc.
āThatās a really good question,ā Sam said. āI have to say, he is very good at it. He really gets into it, he moans, he talks about how good it feels, and he lasts a long time. Thatās part of what makes sucking his cock so much fun.āĀ
Dear Readers: Itās me again. I got a lot of letters in response to THROATās question. This one appeared in the column the following week. ā Dan
You ran a letter about a gay man (āSamā)...
Go to Savage.Love to read the rest. The "Maxi" Savage Love (full column) is exclusively available online at Savage.Love. Find Dan there!
Listen to Dan on the Savage Lovecast.
Follow Dan on Twitter @FakeDanSavage.