I, Anonymous

Wow Elvis Costello is coming to PDX and he's not playing at the urine soaked Roseland but my favorite concert venue Edgefield. Got to get tickets, but something has changed! Oh it's the seating, they took the area close to the stage and filled it with chairs for $400 a seat upper class twits. Nothing says concert to me like watching self inflated dolts take pictures of themselves, attempt to awkwardly dance, and leave to ruin some other event halfway through the first set. OK I get it you need to make as much money as you can as quickly as you can, but you might be making your concert experience like every other shitty venue and killing the goose in the process. Fond regards a former fan.

I had just sang the Beatles, and walked off the karaoke stage. You were dancing in the crowd, I kept noticing you. Your hair is gold blonde, and you had on a classy long coat. When I walked over to talk with you, you said you’re a 60’s person, I was thinking that’s pretty cool, because I like the 60’s too. We did the can can and later on you told me you’re 33, and I was shocked because I thought you were 24. I said, “How do you look so good? What’s your secret?” And you told me that you bathe in Baby’s Blood. Wow, you’re a real fox, an electric lady, I hope to see you again one day.

I refuse to explain myself and the special needs of my seriously physically disabled son to anyone, because that feeling is humiliating and degrading. So, let’s just say that my son was playing fetch with a couple service dogs on an EMPTY field with easy access to and from a paved parking lot to see if maybe my son might be independent enough to care for a service dog himself. So, next time someone tells you to leave them and their disabled child alone, especially when they are neither hurting anyone nor even remotely bothering anyone, you should probably mind your own @&#$?&! business and #$@! off. Sure, laws are laws, but ethics are ethics. You failed the ethics test just like all the bigots in the world who currently and historically have harassed POC, women, LGTBQ, and most definitely the disabled - for simply existing in the public sphere. Go crawl under a rock and die, Princess Karen. I hope you get help for your menopause. Gosh, that must be really hard on you.

I applied for a position posted on my LinkedIn page, a public service job with a major Multnomah County organization. I'm fine with the job I have but since I had most of the listed qualifications I applied out of curiosity. The online application process took me through a number of steps that didn't seem to relate to the job posted, including providing contact information to a recruiting company called Lensa. It was impossible to proceed with the application itself without filling out this info - no Skip button. I've solved the resulting email deluge problem by blocking any message with "Lensa" but it made me wonder: why would a reputable public organization's HR go through a company that uses such aggressive strategies? This is as bad as mail ordering one item, then getting 6 emails a day from the company thereverafter.

To the owner of the Audi Q5 with studded tires driving around our pothole-pocked street this April — first off, your car doesn’t need them. All wheel drive and some decent snowflake tires will allow you to get to the top of Timberline, much less your West Hills driveway, during the briefest of our ice storms. Also, end of March was the time to take them off, not mid June. When I hear the crunch of your approach on our dry, daffodil-lined neighborhood roads it is everything I can do to not toss a brick through your windshield.

Regarding the giant piles of mulch that appear in parking spots all over the neighborhoods this time of year, but quickly migrate into the middle of the street and limit car and bike traffic: dudes. I'm happy you killed your water-sucking lawns, and I bet you didn't realize you'd need to re-mulch every year or two to prevent your yard from turning into weed central (not the cannabis kind). But seriously, wait to have it delivered until you (or maybe your landscaper) are ready to distribute the whole pile away from the street and onto your garden. The piles that last weeks are a nuisance. Buy beer and have friends over to help. Also, that giant chunky yellow mulch is for playgrounds. You want medium dark hemlock, you're welcome. Thanks for taking care of your yard though, I do love all your lovely plants.

No matter how diligent I am about turning off all auto play settings on all my accounts, devices, and even thumbnail settings, videos still start playing by themselves. Moving images are not only incredibly distracting, but often are disturbing to the mind. Not to mention that they often feature content that I don't wish to see. It's sad that this was quickly adopted as the norm as soon as the technology became available and able to be implemented (no surprise), but we need to change this as a society.

You’re are so performative with your advocacy. It’s honestly embarrassing. You absolutely lack any amount of self awareness. You have caused immense harm to other people but act like you are doing so much for others. You’re not charitable. You’re an awful mother and human being parading around your do-good acts for validation. You are bothered by the use of “struggle bus”? Really? But it’s ok to call people “psycho” and “crazy”? Good luck selling that house!

To the dude in the sauna at Everett House *loudly* guzzling water from a gallon jug of Arrowhead and sucking back snot: fuck yourself. I got out of there as soon as it occurred to me that you were infirm but not before catching your illness. Why are you like this? What possessed you to go to a public sauna sick?! You're selfish and and an asshole. Next time stay home with your gross ass, maybe take a few hot showers and wait to not be sick before ruining everyone else's week. Fuck you.

Scrolling through my news feed this morning causally reveals a thumbnail of a police officer's arm raised, gun in hand, mere seconds before firing and killing a youth with a toy gun. This is what we feature without shame. Yet 'exposure' of a unclothed human body is 'indecent' and 'harmful' enough to warrant an actual arrest as was demonstrated by literally the very next article in my feed: 'Grace Kelly arrested for indecent exposure'.

Sheep dash into the butcher’s barn when he tells them there is a hungry wolf lurking in the field. Republicans flock to the polls to cast their votes for the people who would deprive them of Social Security and Medicare, fairly compensated employment opportunity, a quality education for their children, affordable housing, clean air and water and healthy food, health care, and equal rights before the law. If you assume there is a parallel between these two cautionary tales, you just might be right.

Felt like I stepped into a different reality yesterday when I was getting coffee at crema yesterday. Seeing 8+ LGBTQIA couples holding hands felt great like we were momentarily in a more advanced dimension- a place where I’ve always wanted to be. Enjoyed seeing these happy couples interact - love to you all

Why do you insist upon training brand new drivers during morning rush hour? I know people have to learn, but can’t rush hour be like a second or third step? I miss my connecting bus at least once a week because the new driver is too afraid to drive above 10 miles per hour! Fuck sake!

Congratulations local casting professionals! The 2025 Academy Awards will include an Oscar for casting! Be honest. You think you might win one, huh? You deserve it...exactly as much as the guy who fixed up Shakespeare's parents deserves an award for Hamlet. Here's hoping you'll also get credit for all the actors you keep at the gate. You only let the right ones in. Certainly not those who broke one of your many secret rules. Whatever it was, never tell them! Keep them guessing. Most of all, you deserve recognition for your brilliant business model: getting hungry job-seeking professionals to give you their time, energy, training, resources, heart and soul FOR FREE, while YOU get paid for it. You definitely deserve something for all that. Next, let's see what we can do about a James Beard Award for craft services!